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Embarrassed

3 Jan

So I fell off the blogging bandwagon.

It wasn’t intentional.  It wasn’t because I dislike blogging.  It was just life.

It went something like this….

The soldier left for training.
Dino-man, the princess, & I started homeschooling.
SW went back to school.

And I was dx’d with CELIAC disease!

And just like that, something had to give.

But I’ve missed it, and as we find our new normal (again) I am feeling the rhythm.  And I’m starting to make things and think “hey, I should blog this!”

So back in the saddle I am!  Only now all the recipes will be dairy free AND gluten free!

Thanks for staying with me on this ride.

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Reflecting – the Mommy Files

24 Jul

After a long week and a busy weekend we are moving slowing this morning.  Enjoying the last couple of mornings before school starts again, before we have to be intentional, on-time.  

My children do not know what happened last week.  We do not have tv in the house, we got rid of cable and haven’t been able to afford the converter boxes to let our old tv’s get the public channels.  We pay $8 a month for older shows to be streamed through the internet to us.  There is no local news coming in through our tv.  Our children do not know what happened.  They don’t need to really.  But we do.

Not Colorado.  Not Again.  

My heart is broken.  And I fight with myself.  Do I write about it?  How can I not.  

Sis tells me our kitchen is cowboy country.  The living room is a carnival.  She is rearranging little trinkets on the table.  This one gives you power.  This one gives you strength.  

She is buzzing.  Dino-man is buzzing.  Grammy is taking them to a movie today.  A movie.  

And this is why we do not tell them what happened.  I refuse to let this incident instill fear in my children.  They don’t need that.  They deserve better than that.  

Right now SW is 10.  Someday he will be older.  He will want to go to late night movies with his friends, and why not?  Because he is afraid?  Because I am afraid.  

I wrestle, I pray.  My mom heart aches deep.  

Sis has rearranged the trinkets again.  Now they are tokens to get in to her carnival, to ride the rides.  I bump my tea reaching for one, I’ve forgotten to remove the bag, in the sun it has steeped strong and dark.   The first scalding sip is sweet as honey.  Just what I needed.

How would I explain this tragedy to my children?  I cannot.  I cannot tell them why he did it, why it happened, or that it won’t happen again.  I cannot promise to always keep them safe.  My job and I cannot do it.

But I can tell them not to loose faith, hope.  I can tell them to keep loving on each other.  Fiercely, with all their heart.  Because he may have been one man, but look at how many people it brought together.  How many emergency workers, doctors, nurses saved lives.  How one brother scarified for another.  How a community came together to take care of each other.  

There is bad in this world, but there is so very much more that is better.  

Tiny Moments – the Mommy Files

19 Jul

Can I be completely honest with you?  There was a time when I would have spend five minutes playing with my child and patted myself on the back for being a good mom, being involved, and gone about my day.  “good job me, you just made a memory”

But as the kids get older, which they are, and the moments become fleeting, which they do, my heart has shattered.  For what is lost.  And rebuilt itself.  Now it beats for something new.  The tiny moments.  The every day.

The days are long, but the years are short…

“mom, remember that one time we were playing checkers and we shared some popcorn and we tossed it in to each other’s mouths…”

They’re making memories while we’re making plans…

I know it is easy to say not right now…

“no, I’m working, cleaning, cooking, washing, planning, facebooking, pinteresting, reading, tv-ing…”

Because we live busy lives.

Or . . . “I can for five minutes, or after I, or, or, or”

But childhood doesn’t wait.  It doesn’t wait for them, and it doesn’t wait for us.

Childhood doesn’t pause for cleaning, cooking, washing, planning, facebooking, pinteresting, reading, tv-ing…

Childhood doesn’t pause.

And I don’t want to look back in 20 years and say “wait, now I have time to build with legos, and make blanket forts, and cook plastic food, and just talk to you”

So I’m learning to find the time now.  To say yes to games, and dress up, and dolls, and dinosaurs.  Yes to them.

The Mommy Files – Who Writes These Things?

17 Jul

Here is a completely random, in no particular order, probably pretty meaningless, top 10 about the girl writing this blog ::

(that is not the girl writing this blog btw)

10.  I have a clock on my side of the bed that reads the entirely wrong time.  I find it whimsical.

9.  Given the choice between chocolate and dill pickles, dill pickles would win every time.

8.  I homeschool two children, my oldest, SW, goes to a local school.  It can be a little schizophrenic at times.  Please send cupcakes.

7.  I am a reader.  I rarely see movies.

6.  Unless it is the Princess Bride.  If you watch that with me please expect me to quote the entire movie right along with the actors.

5.  My husband knew that about me and married me anyways.  What a guy.

4.  It is pronounced You-Lee, not Yule.  I am not a Christmas treat.

3.  I consider myself a pretty relaxed mom, some day I will do a post all about my kitchen table, not what happens around it, but the table itself.  Someday, and it will be epic, and you will understand.

2.  I will brake for animals, every animal, every time.  Once I braked for an escaped turtle, I kid you not.  And then we found the owners and the mom was so appreciative we didn’t run over her son’s pet.  And I hope that one day, when we finally get chickens and goats, if Omelet, my future chicken, escapes, someone will brake for her too.

1.  And all joking aside, my family is my everything.  That is why I write this blog, it is a testimony to what we do and the fun we have doing it.  I don’t have all the answers but we’re sure going to laugh trying to figure it out.  And have a cupcake, always a cupcake.

The Mommy Files – My Kids Won’t Eat THAT

30 Jun

My kids are no different than any other person on this planet.  They have their likes.  They have their dislikes.

But more often than not I hear from so many moms, “you are so lucky, my child would never eat that”

I really dont’ think it has anything to do with luck, or my children being that different.  I think it has much more to do with the approach we take to dinner, and food in general.

So here are some things that we do that has nothing to do with the actual food we are serving but more a mindset about dinner.

1. I am not a short order cook, I do love to cook, but I cook one meal per meal.  We have allergies in this house but we still eat the same thing, I do not make special meals.

2.  We eat dinner together.  We do not eat it in front of the t.v., we sit at the table, and we talk to each other, not our phones or our electronics.  In fact we have always had a “no toys at the table” rule, it has served us well.

3.  We say grace.  Truly, it forces all of us to stop what we’re doing and offer up thanksgiving for the food we’re about to eat.  It re-focuses our energies from what we were doing to the task at hand.

4.  80% of the time you will like what I cook, I cannot always make five people happy 100% of the time.  But if you are in the 20% today please read rule 5….

5.  If you don’t like something you still need to try one bite, to see if you like this dish.  And if you still don’t like it, you can tell me without whining, complaining, fussing, pouting, shouting, crying, or being rude.  This is a life lesson that will serve you well in many areas, learn it now when you’re only a kid so it becomes second nature by the time you’re an adult.

6.  If you’ve tried dinner and do not like it and have told me in a polite way, you may be done.  But you are done.  No other food is available to you, I will not make you a sandwich, you do not get dessert.

7.  Children learn by example.  My husband, bless him, is very good about eating whatever is served.  No complaints.  If your husband is complaining about the food, what makes you think your children won’t?  Likewise SW knows that he is the oldest, he is the example.  He does not like mushrooms, he never has, I love mushrooms, guess what, mushrooms end up in our dinners.  He knows not to complain, that if he complains the younger two will not eat the dish either, but if he quietly pulls them out of the dish, the younger two are non the wiser.

8.  From the time my kids were old enough to walk, they help set the table and they take their dishes to the sink when they are done eating.  Engage them, make them a member of team family, when they feel like they matter and are a part of something bigger they’re a lot less likely to complain!

I know that this is sometimes easier said than done – this doesn’t happen over night either.  These rules stem from bad experiences on our end, don’t think it has always been easy!  But also don’t think it is hopeless!  Work at it, get your family on board!

There are few things I cherish like I cherish sharing food with my family and talking about their days.

Do you have tried and true tricks that work in your house?  Share them below!